Dealing with Cold Calls and Telemarketers

Summary: How to deal with these beings...

The door bell rang and I went to answer it today. It was a cute looking brunette with a little twinkle in her eyes. I smiled and said: "Hi." Her smile lit up as she greeted me with this cute Australian accent... But reality fell on me like a tonne of bricks when she asked me if I was the 'payer of bills'. Feeling cheated, I told her I wasn't. She proceeded to ask where the bill payer is. My answer was short and hasty "At work." She then asked me when the person will be back. I told her that under the Data Protection Act, I couldn't tell her and shut the door. Love is deceitful!

My family, unlike me, have a sixth sense for detecting these types of creatures. My mum just says "No" and shakes her head to whatever they ask. However, this trick works better when you speak with an accent and are not caucasian.

If you are more passive aggressive and have lots of time at hand, then you can learn from my gran. After receiving cold calls gran attempts to keep them on the line for as long as possible. She has simply leaves the phone the hook on the table. When person on the other end goes silent, she mutters a few sentences into the phone to keep the rambling going. She has managed to keep the call going for hours at times.

For those that seek comprehensive guidance on how to carry out gran's method, you will probaby find A Script to Countering Telemarketers by Martijn Engelbregt extremely useful. Enjoy.